Making the Marriage Reality Show?

Posted Under: celebs, love, relationships, television

Maybe the more seasoned in love I get the more sentimental I become but whenever I watch Qwannell and Dawn together they make me smile. They remind me of my husband and I when we were dating each other, or courting rather, because we started talking with the notion that we were going to get married, not dating just to pass time and kick it because we had nothing better to do. It was exclusive from the word GO! We know that we wanted it to just be us from the beginning “EXCLUSIVE” not wait and see where it was headed. But word is that Dawn of Danity Kane and Que of Day26 are engaged and she’s sporting a ROCK y’all. Not that I’m caught up in the rock factor per se, but what I’m saying is that it’s not just a ring,  it’s too big to just be decoration, it has to “mean” and emphasize something.

I’m wondering if they are going to get their own spin-off show. I’m watching the show and they just came off tour and they haven’t made the official announcement on the show but she sure is wearing the ring in photos that I’ve seen on the web so, um, er, what’s the 4-1-1? Dawn Richard will now be Mrs. Dawn Mosley and I think that has a nice ring to it. I say congratulations! And um did you see her doing her little dance for him at the final tour stop on stage? It was too cute, really. Sometimes you look at two people and you can already see in their spirits that they are married already. I see that with them. To me they surpass age and all that superficial stuff. They are somewhere else on an alternate level. In this industry, Thank God for that. I see her retiring and them both just loving each other in retirement. Just be good to each other.

Oh and if they did have a reality show. Yup. DVR or TIVO, I’d watch.

The Little Things

Posted Under: relationships

It’s always the little things with me. What little things really make your relationship great?

Setting Boundaries in Marriage

Posted Under: bookshelf, love, relationships, society

Work-related affairs usually develop over time, and the emotional involvement can be intense. Physical or sexual activity usually develops much later in the relationship, after the establishment of a friendship or an emotional dependency. This type of affair can develop into a long-term relationship and can be difficult to end due to the emotional bonding. In their book Boundaries in Marriage, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend advise couples to set appropriate boundaries to protect their marriages from intruders. Don’t assume that the level of intimacy you’ve experienced early in your relationship will remain intact without conscious effort. With today’s increased pressures and temptations, couples can’t afford to minimize the fact that other people and activities are in strong competition for their time and energy. Setting boundaries around your marriage doesn’t mean your marriage is a self-contained unit where all of your needs are met by your spouse. This simply isn’t practical or even possible. Marriage is one of God’s avenues of support for you, along with your relationship with the Lord and healthy, appropriate relationships with others. Protecting your marriage doesn’t mean you become reclusive or paranoid, just vigilant and aware. However, marriage is exclusive in terms of emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy. This unique level of intimacy between husband and wife is not meant to be shared with others. As Christians, we can’t assume our marriages are exempt from the dangers of infidelity. Unfortunately, statistics tell us many Christian couples report infidelity during the first 20 years of their marriage. In Galatians 5:16, Paul urges us to walk and live in the Spirit and not to give in to the lusts of the flesh. James 1:12-15 teaches us that temptation doesn’t come from God, but it comes when we’re enticed by our own desires. Work to protect and preserve the integrity and unity of your marriage relationship. Don’t be naive about the necessity of forming healthy and appropriate boundaries around your marriage. Let God’s wisdom and truth guide you as you guard your heart and your marriage from the flames of infidelity. Here is the original article: How Opposite Sex Friendships Can Burn Your Marriage by Stephanie Summers. Incidentally I had written a similar article that got a great response and was forwarded dozens of times earlier in the year to kick of the re-release of The Plural Thing called Building Strong Marriages: Erect Boundaries With Friends of the Opposite Sex. It’s amazing how my article follows the same theme and how people are so oblivious to the fact that seemingly “innocent” friendships can undermine marriages. If you get a minute read my article and leave a comment. Stephanie Summers is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Jacksonville, Fla. She and her husband are members of Fruit Cove Baptist Church. Yep, I ordered a His and Hers Copies of Boundaries in Marriage! Get yours here.

Is Love an As Is Thing?

Posted Under: relationships

I want to pose a question, is LOVE an “As Is” Thing? For instance, let me use myself as an example, last week I took a DNA test (which I won’t be posting), before that I’ve taken personality tests, I’m introverted. I force myself to be more social than I really am because of the book situation, and because I know I need to make sales, BUT, and a BIGGGG BUT I’m pretty content and I mean, peachy keen and chillin’ all cheesy-like and LOVE to be left alone and just watching tv, cooking a meal solo and realize that plenty of people live, enjoy and have satisfied lives this way. Is it fair to force someone who is not an extrovert to become more extroverted? Isn’t that like throwing a cub of another totally unrelated species into a den of lions? How do you force someone who takes and gets an insane amount of pleasure from coming home and kicking off their shoes and making sour cream dip for their salted Lay’s potato chips and then drag them off to this party, this function and force them to meet endless amounts of people and force them to like it? That is pulling them out of their comfort zone and forcing them into a unsatisfying life and pushing them into a myriad of uncomfortable situations with people that they really have no desire to know at all. If love is an “as is” thing, shouldn’t two people coming together already understand in the dating process that one partner is not as outgoing as the other and that what it really means is that there will be a compromises on how many functions will actually be attended by the couple? It shouldn’t be assumed that the introverted partner will automatically become more extroverted, maybe the extroverted partner would temper their personality down a little bit too for the sake of the relationship, no? What happens to the pleasure that the introverted partner gets from just being in their “alone” time space? Is that just out the window because the extroverted partner wants to be constantly out around other people doing things and grinning at people all the time?

Be Sweet With Your Verbal Tone

Posted Under: relationships

I found this on a Christian marriage blog almost 2 weeks ago maybe 3 weeks and have been working on it and of course with working on it comes being tested. Circumstances forced me to post this today finally. Meditate on it and/or forward the link to those who may need it. I’m still working on it. No excuses. I am. Those of you who want to make excuses and appear perfect–have at it. Appearing perfect won’t make your relationship better only working on your relationship and verbal tone will.

Proverbs 16:21 says, “The wise heart will be called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.” Communication experts tell us that only 7% of communication is content and 38% is tone of voice. Just because someone loves you, like your spouse, doesn’t mean an abrasive tone in your voice is appealing. No one likes to be patronized, spoken to rudely or sharply, and no one likes to constantly be spoken to in a coarse tone. It is important that if we want others to hear us and to listen when we speak, we must scrutinize our communication habits and maintain a pleasant tone.

Unfortunately, many married couples are living in a cycle of abrasiveness. Couples speak to each other in ways they would never think of speaking to their co-workers, friends, acquaintances, and even perfect strangers. We blame it on stress, comfort, and total acceptance. We believe our spouses will love us, regardless of our attitudes and actions. In reality, our abrasive tone and unkind words are slowly chipping away at our spouse’s self-esteem and can tear dangerous holes in our relationship. If you find yourself in this type of cycle, commit today to become a “cycle-breaker”. Be determined to speak in a way that glorifies your Lord and uplifts your spouse. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see immediate results. Continue to pour sweet words of kindness over your spouse, and don’t be surprised if your relationship begins to grow sweeter, too!