Michelle and Barack Kind of Love

Posted Under: family, love

Happy Anniversary! October 3 makes 16 years for Michelle and Barack Obama and all I can think is *wow* it only makes 10 months for me and mine, but I know that we are striving for 16 years and beyond. We are striving for loving and making it beyond the barriers and the issues and all the things that come to halt love in it’s tracks and slow down the growing process. Whatever it takes, we want to be in it for the long haul. We want to be in it long after those who keep asking, “are they still together?” stop asking because the answer is always “YES!” We want to do it not to prove a point, but because we feel this thing deeper than anyone can imagine, this was never a lust or a crush or a conquest thing from the beginning. You don’t limit, confine or time love, because to do that would be to limit, confine or time God. Just let it be, find your and follow it wherever God tells you to go and hope and pray for you own time time so that you can strive for your own 16 years and beyond. Happy Anniversary baby!

Making the Marriage Reality Show?

Posted Under: celebs, love, relationships, television

Maybe the more seasoned in love I get the more sentimental I become but whenever I watch Qwannell and Dawn together they make me smile. They remind me of my husband and I when we were dating each other, or courting rather, because we started talking with the notion that we were going to get married, not dating just to pass time and kick it because we had nothing better to do. It was exclusive from the word GO! We know that we wanted it to just be us from the beginning “EXCLUSIVE” not wait and see where it was headed. But word is that Dawn of Danity Kane and Que of Day26 are engaged and she’s sporting a ROCK y’all. Not that I’m caught up in the rock factor per se, but what I’m saying is that it’s not just a ring,  it’s too big to just be decoration, it has to “mean” and emphasize something.

I’m wondering if they are going to get their own spin-off show. I’m watching the show and they just came off tour and they haven’t made the official announcement on the show but she sure is wearing the ring in photos that I’ve seen on the web so, um, er, what’s the 4-1-1? Dawn Richard will now be Mrs. Dawn Mosley and I think that has a nice ring to it. I say congratulations! And um did you see her doing her little dance for him at the final tour stop on stage? It was too cute, really. Sometimes you look at two people and you can already see in their spirits that they are married already. I see that with them. To me they surpass age and all that superficial stuff. They are somewhere else on an alternate level. In this industry, Thank God for that. I see her retiring and them both just loving each other in retirement. Just be good to each other.

Oh and if they did have a reality show. Yup. DVR or TIVO, I’d watch.

Setting Boundaries in Marriage

Posted Under: love, relationships

Work-related affairs usually develop over time, and the emotional involvement can be intense. Physical or sexual activity usually develops much later in the relationship, after the establishment of a friendship or an emotional dependency. This type of affair can develop into a long-term relationship and can be difficult to end due to the emotional bonding.

In their book Boundaries in Marriage, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend advise couples to set appropriate boundaries to protect their marriages from intruders. Don’t assume that the level of intimacy you’ve experienced early in your relationship will remain intact without conscious effort. With today’s increased pressures and temptations, couples can’t afford to minimize the fact that other people and activities are in strong competition for their time and energy.

Setting boundaries around your marriage doesn’t mean your marriage is a self-contained unit where all of your needs are met by your spouse. This simply isn’t practical or even possible. Marriage is one of God’s avenues of support for you, along with your relationship with the Lord and healthy, appropriate relationships with others. Protecting your marriage doesn’t mean you become reclusive or paranoid, just vigilant and aware. However, marriage is exclusive in terms of emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy. This unique level of intimacy between husband and wife is not meant to be shared with others.

As Christians, we can’t assume our marriages are exempt from the dangers of infidelity. Unfortunately, statistics tell us many Christian couples report infidelity during the first 20 years of their marriage. In Galatians 5:16, Paul urges us to walk and live in the Spirit and not to give in to the lusts of the flesh. James 1:12-15 teaches us that temptation doesn’t come from God, but it comes when we’re enticed by our own desires.

Work to protect and preserve the integrity and unity of your marriage relationship. Don’t be naive about the necessity of forming healthy and appropriate boundaries around your marriage. Let God’s wisdom and truth guide you as you guard your heart and your marriage from the flames of infidelity.

Here is the original article: How Opposite Sex Friendships Can Burn Your Marriage by Stephanie Summers. Incidentally I had written a similar article that got a great response and was forwarded dozens of times earlier in the year to kick of the re-release of The Plural Thing called Building Strong Marriages: Erect Boundaries With Friends of the Opposite Sex. It’s amazing how my article follows the same theme and how people are so oblivious to the fact that seemingly “innocent” friendships can undermine marriages. If you get a minute read my article and leave a comment.

Stephanie Summers is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Jacksonville, Fla. She and her husband are members of Fruit Cove Baptist Church.

Yep, I ordered a His and Hers Copies of Boundaries in Marriage! Get yours here.

Does Beauty Guarantee Faithfulness?

Posted Under: love, relationships, sex

Does beauty guarantee a man or woman will be faithful in a relationship or to their spouse?

What about that infamous article? If you have the cheating gene, are some cases just a lost cause then? And does the cheating gene only apply to men?

What about that shade issues if a man or a woman has a husband or wife of a more preferred or coveted shade are they more likely to be faithful to them (ie. try harder to make it work) than if they don’t?

Let’s get deep with this one folks.

Timing is Everything

Posted Under: love

My lost loves post got a lot of comments and I thank you. For those of you who don’t know I’m working on my 2nd relationship book. It seems that people are different when it comes to the amount of time it takes to get over the loss of a love, especially when it’s not cut and dry. When we talk to our girlfriends and we say, “just leave him girl” we make it seem like it’s something we can do and get over in a matter of weeks, but that’s not the case, based on what you shared in the comments section–even the men take time to get over a love. Thank you guys for being honest! I love that! You still have time if you want to comment. Click the link above and let me know how long it took you to get over your ex. Anonymous is okay.

On a different subject, when my husband and I met over 20 years ago, ironically enough we had a conversation that was a defining moment for me and has me doing exactly what I’m doing for a living right now. We had a conversation about Waiting to Exhale. We were at the train station both on our way to work and were talking about the book, or rather he was talking to me about how good the book was (he was reading it) and going on and on about how I should read it, and so, I proceeded to obtain a copy shortly thereafter, read it and decided that I could do exactly what Terry McMillan did and set out to do just that–be a writer. It had been 20 plus years since he and his suggestion had impacted my life so positively–but he had no idea that the conversation that we had that day led me down that path. Many people ask why it (love) didn’t happen for us earlier or how I feel about him being the one who almost got away, but I don’t consider him a lost love, I just consider him a love that wasn’t supposed to be yet. Everything has its perfect timing. I wasn’t ready for him before. I was more stubborn and so was he back then. Now I’ve mellowed. Everything has it’s perfect time. Ask a staunch cheese lover like me. Before cheese is cheese it’s curdled milk. I mean, even if you drink wine before its time you’ll have grape juice, baked fish before its time can end up sushi or a stomach ache–I did have a point, maybe you can sift through all of this and find it, I think I just lost it though. Timing is everything. I think that was my point, and we can’t let someone else, not friends or family determine when that timing is or should be for us. I thank God everyday that our time is now. I’m living in it, enjoying it, marinating in it, tasting it–being it, loving it.