More Life Lessons
July 31, 2007 – 7:05 amPosted Under: life
“Now that I don’t want to settle the score I aint never felt so free…” - Maxwell
It’s great to learn life lessons and I’ve been learning some moderate and some very painful ones:
1. IF IT WALKS LIKE A DUCK, IT’S A DUCK: Anger and the things people say when they are angry are their REAL THOUGHTS and it is the REAL THEM, not the charismatic person you see when things are going their way, smooth, calm or tranquil on the beach of life. Only what is in you to be or become can come out of you. When someone is angry an alien doesn’t jump into their body and begin spewing the most God-awful things–it’s them, plain and simple. It is possible to be extremely angry and not say hateful things. Fact is hurt people opt to say hurtful things. I learned saying nothing is the best remedy in the face of situations like that. I call it living a drama-free life and the Princess is “so” loving that right now. Nothing, even a disagreement gives a license for people to spew hateful things. BUT my lesson learned is that if you want to test anything in your life, put fire to it. Fire dredges out all of the impurities and only the REAL THING can ever stand the fire. If a mishap or disagreement ends things, then question what you may have had in the first place. Sometimes we sensationalize things and make them appear better or worse than they actually were/are. Face what you have AFTER the fire and that will settle that.
2. DON’T JUDGE A BOAT BY ITS SAIL: We went out to dinner with another couple a few weekends ago. The ocean was beautiful and the boats were at the dock. We listened as the musician sang his rendition of Elvis, Kool and the Gang songs and others. We got the menu and the descriptions were delectable. The food took a long time coming though. I figured that this popular hot spot with its pristine view of the bay, the food must be OUTSTANDING and that’s what was taking the food so long! It wasn’t. Their idea of stuffing something with crab meat, was an unseasoned lump of shredded looking white stuff that could have easily passed for coconut. But as fate would have it, a day later (almost 24 hours exactly) well, we discovered the most awesome restaurant on the planet–to put it calmly. I don’t even want to tell you the name because you may want to go there and we can’t have that because then I’ll probably have to wait longer or start making reservations to get in the place. Let’s just say, the water was good, the salad was finger licking, the bread (hot and fresh out of the oven) and the food, my goodness where do I start? The stuffed clams had so much flavor that I should have slapped myself for not really wanting to order an appetizer. The food itself…mmm. Perfectly fluffy rice, juicy seafood with PLENTY of flavor. It wasn’t by the bay or any water matter of fact, but it was the best place I’ve eaten at in an extremely long time. You’ve got to love redemption.
3. LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST: If you judge people by their past what is to stop them from judging you by yours? I had to start examining that and myself to figure out whether or not I do that, even though I believe we all do to a degree. Let’s say that you were one of those little fast girls that didn’t warrant respect so the fellas never gave you any and you got pregnant out of wedlock, but then you grew up to be a respectable woman who does her own thing because she’s determined and good at what she does, what gives me or anybody else the right to keep bringing up what you used to be when it’s clear that you are no longer that. Fact is the lesson is that people change and we change–embrace that fact. I mean, what on earth makes you think that God’s grace was only good enough to change you or me from what we used to be? What makes you think that God can’t come in and change the next sister from what she was too? Sometimes we think that God and his mercy is only for us and we put it in our pocket and take it out to cover our sins and then shove it back into our pockets so that no one else sees it, knows it or realizes that God’s grace is for anybody who will grab ahold of it. How selfish. Whatever issue you had with that sister, grow up and let it go. Just thank the Heavens that life is fair enough to give you BOTH a second chance.
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5 Responses to “More Life Lessons”
These were good additions. Specially number 3. That’s like my pet peeve. Everyone evolves. Why not let them instead of always trying to tear them down always bringing up old ish? Move on people…move on!
By CreoleInDC on Jul 31, 2007
That first one crunched all over my shoes. I was so spiritually bound by someone who surprisingly stifled my life with a barrage of hurtful words spewed on a regular. Glad GOD saved me from that one! *lol*
The second one is a rule of thumb for me
I always look for the grimey spot because their food (most times) is the jump off!
The third one was just a secondary layer to the first (for me). I’m learning that, although these mantras are familiar, frequently revisiting them is the key to staying on track.
Thanks for the refresher
By Fave on Jul 31, 2007
Creole #3 is my #1 but it didn’t come to me until last. Drives me absolutely batty!
Fave just glad you could relate, when you know better you do better, but to know better and still do the same thing, isn’t that IDIOT?
By Miss Princess Dominique on Jul 31, 2007
Good post and timely.
By Shelia on Jul 31, 2007
Very good post, I need to learn to keep my mouth shut when im angry. I say some mean hurtful things when i’m pissed…. I’m not really bad at looking at people’s past, but i’m bad at looking at mine and expecting everyone to treat me the same as i’ve been treated in regards to relationships (bad and not trustworthy)
By Heather B on Jul 31, 2007